I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Your penis caused this!
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