I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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