Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize