Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
