come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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