Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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