He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Randomize
