Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
nutella sex= disaster
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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