My brain says no but my pants say off.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
