it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
My liver just had a heart attack.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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