just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
high people should be assigned attendants
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
