He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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