Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize