you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
