their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
