Four minutes until I can fart!
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
