? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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