Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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