It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
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