i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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