she looked like the before picture.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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