i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
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