Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize