I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
