Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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