youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
