he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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