i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
