Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
