at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize