why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Randomize
