It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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