I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
