i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
