Banned from zoo.
Again?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
