My brain says no but my pants say off.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize