took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
