we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
