Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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