i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
im six kinds of drunk right now
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
