Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
