dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
