Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
farters have to be the big spoon...
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I just googled if crying burns calories
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
My ass is underappreciated
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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