My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
