I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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