READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize