I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
