If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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