I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Someone signed my nipple.
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