yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
