I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
