And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
