dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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