In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
