I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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