This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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