I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
