Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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