This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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