After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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