I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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