I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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