yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
