I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
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