did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
