Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
