I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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