Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Randomize
