OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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