walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
