Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
