I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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