so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Randomize
