Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
It's just like the Real World with babies
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
