Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
