sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
