i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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