If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
