I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
She's just so happy...and so naked.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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