I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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