So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
