question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
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