apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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