I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
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