Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
