Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Randomize