the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
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