It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
